renovation

I'm sitting here at my desk, late this Wednesday night... a contemplative day behind me, and in my perusal of recorded writings, scribblings and other such pieces of inspiration I'd collected over a recent time, I came across this:

"Experiences are what make our fate. Without them what would shape our lives?

If we never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, or make memories to last a lifetime, or have adventures, that make us who we are.

After all, seasons change, so do people, cities and locations. People come into your life and people go... But it's comforting to know the ones that are always in your heart, and If you're lucky, are only a short plane ride away".

I can't remember where I cut it from or where I was at the time I did so, but this beginning of 2012 has been a trying time, for me. One or another few curved balls have come my way. Expectations have been diminished, I'd become accustomed to sleepless nights and people have come into and gone from my life with full force, some leaving me aghast.
My creative life is more fulfilling and challenging. There are moments of creative content and moments of sheer frustration. There are your run of the mill good days, bad days and days with people you are ever so thankful for. I have begun new projects; completed some, fallen behind on others and soared with inspiration on a few more. Time is a friend and time is a foe. Sometimes you wonder what the heck is going on with The Universe. Could the Big Man upstairs throw me a frickin' bone here?! And then, in that moment of despair, frazzle or in that five minutes you get to stop - and breathe - and reflect, you realise that these experiences are all patchwork squares of You. Imperfectly perfect - there is none youer than you.

You may think some are prettier, blemish free, with finer detail than others... but what creative eye saw beauty in only the refined, the perfect, the carefully planned and crafted? I'm yet to meet such a creative being. Every master began with a rough sketch, a journal of refinement and plenty of mistakes corrected over time. Is this not the zest and honesty of life?
This day and age has made us impatient beings, things demanded yesterday in today's order, wanting the latest of everything to stand out, be noticed, whilst we subconsciously conform amongst a fast-paced society. Creative, alternative, conservative, the old, the young... we all do it. Sometimes we forget to see the beauty in the hiccups of our journey until we allow ourselves the five minute breather, or for some, it's too late or never. It's in these moments we reflect on raw emotion and experience and can draw the greatest lessons on life, and see that we are simply human, not superhuman, not matter how hard we tried, thought or think we ought to be.

I guess amongst the rant and waffle here, I found a little resonance in the above passage I'd come across this evening. In times of uncertainty, stress, anxiety, pain or simply the fast-pace of life (even if you have minimal qualms) you forget to see the overall beauty of the patchwork of experiences that makes you, You. If for a moment, you can push the clouds aside and let some light shine on your heart in the chaos that has become you - you may reach a positive place in which you can be objective. Accept your faults, your failures, disappointments, those who have come and gone, the memories you've made and be grateful for the life you are living right now.

Tomorrow mightn't be easy, but the realisation that we all have tasks, journeys and people to accompany us on this journey called life is the most important. It's those few who love unconditionally, those few who create a vision, those few who are -  if you're lucky, a short plane ride away - that make your patchwork a rare work of art. One in which your mistakes will be learnt from, your finer qualities inherited and the love you possess displayed on the wall for all to see.

It can be tough and a short rant to yourself can alleviate the weight of your creative mind running overtime, like for me now. It's sometimes harder to get to this point, because there's no use turning back from here - you've already closed the gate and the world is waiting for your next step. You can't guarantee what is waiting - that's fate, but you can manifest on your positivity, your creativity and believe that there are plans for you for good, and not for disaster.

I am ever so thankful for those who have stood by my side, believed in and loved me; watched me grow, fall, pulled me up, walked alongside me, and watched me pull myself back up again. We all have individual journeys, but I am so blessed to have been able to be part of other's and shared some of mine with some of the most amazing people, culminating memories and beliefs, projects, movements and hearts of such strength and inspiration, all in the one place.

I'm not sure it's a complete transitional period, but we have some serious head and heart renovations going on in here. We're moving along and up.

The leaves are turning.

All the while, I hope this passage brings you a little resonance now or later, whenever your journey sees it fit.

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